Alexa Ferrer Final Post

            I feel bad for Tony at the end of the book. I also have a terrible fear of getting old now. The book is clearly split into two parts. The first part is where he is young and in constantly waiting for his life to begin. The second part is when instead of looking forward to what’s next; he realizes all that’s left to do is look back. I’m not too scared about looking back because I hope I live a life that is exciting to look back it, but it is the other details he described about getting old that scare me. Apart from the physical changes (which I’m not looking forward to, it’s the loss of certain feelings that gets me anxious. He mentions the loss of desire and desirability. I think that is the worst to lose, because for most of us that is what brings the most excitement and feeling to our lives.

            I find his relationships with Margaret and Veronica interesting, yet for some reason they make me very uncomfortable. I find it strange that as he tells us his life story his wife is a tiny factor in it. It makes me uncomfortable when they are having lunch and she starts leading him on and they make plans they both know will never happen. I hated that part, I didn’t think it was nice I thought it was awful. I also don’t find Veronica mysterious in an appealing way. I never liked her, primarily because he didn’t speak to fondly of her throughout the book, but I know now she is the love of his life. I really hated how she acted in their last encounters. I guess with age you assume people become more mature, but I think she is as immature as ever. I understand she may have a lot of resentment for what Tony wrote in the letter but what happened in her life is not his fault and she was really immature with him.

            Finally, I think the last but most important thing to talk about is memory. Because of the damage inflicted on Tony by Veronica, he coped by repressing many things. His memory was very affected by this because even though Veronica was the love of his life I didn’t realize that until later because all he would do is say negative things about her. He had managed to repress anything that did not satisfy him and his pride and I think memory is a tricky thing now.